The distinction between being female and being a woman (in my eyes)

Disclaimer: This is bound to offend someone’s gender politics, so I’m just going to restate that this blog is just my own insane thoughts and feelings.

The gender label I feel comfortable with is a progressing thing. I’ve talked before about how I felt “not-male”, then as I started to reach acceptance “trans” or “trans gender”, then “trans girl” or “trans female”.

About 3 or 4 months ago, I was having a makeup lesson in the Mac store. The woman teaching me was treating me in such a normal way, asking me questions about my makeup routine and preferences on products and colours. All of a sudden I Continue reading “The distinction between being female and being a woman (in my eyes)”

Felt OK about my appearance for the first time…

According to my plan – I was supposed to come out at work yesterday. I did it a couple of weeks ago, kind of on the spur of the moment.

It is incredible that just 7 weeks ago – I was sat in Natalie, the HR Manager’s, room, terrified at what I had to tell her; all about my other life.

It is incredible how much my life has changed.

I’m now completely out. My children know and have met me. I’ve given up my wig. I’m getting lots of advice from the many women around me. I’ve made new friendships.

She and I decided to go out for a drink to celebrate. I put on a new top that I’d bought, did my hair as best I can and did my makeup slightly differently. Somehow I felt happy with the result. I walked into the pub (wearing a new pair of shoes) feeling unusually confident.

Towards the end of the night, Natalie took a few pictures of me, but this one seemed to really capture me. Somehow it feels more imperfect than some of my other pics, but it is authentic & I look OK.


I know that as time goes by I’m only going to look better and feel more confident.

I was dreading this weekend, but it turned out to be one of the best in my life

What a weekend. In a slightly unusual move, I decided to share an edited version of this post with Facebook. Not 100% sure why I did, but I think it’s because I’ve had a new influx of ‘friends’ and I guess I partly wanted to share this with them because they are a part of the post and maybe it’s because of a desire to show my old life friends that my new life is amazing.

The brows

On Friday, during lunch, I went to a brow place to get my eyebrows threaded / shaped. I’ve wanted to get them done in a more feminine style for at least 20 years. I was quite nervous, but the woman was beyond lovely. And we had this big reveal moment at the end, where I saw them for the first time.

Another fab 1st experience.

The photo shoot

I went to Fox Fisher’s Transpride photo shoot. This was a big deal, because to say I’m not in anyway confident about how I look is an understatement, but also because Continue reading “I was dreading this weekend, but it turned out to be one of the best in my life”