In 100 days, I should be just about recovering from my operation.
I oscillate between fear and unbridled excitement. Right now I’m in the excitement phase. It’s something that I’ve thought about every day when I learnt such a thing was possible.
There’s still stuff to do before I go. I just moved house, because my old place was at the top of 107 stairs, which might have been a challenge during the months after surgery. I now have a nice little house, so that’s one thing crossed off the list.
In a few weeks I have a meeting with Dr Lorimer to get my referral letter. I still have to book hotel for the month overseas and I still have to pay for the surgery. But it’s all happening in just a few months.
Most of the time I am fairly sanguine about not being able to grow up as a little girl. It just was as it was. I remember wishing and feeling jealous of the way they could just be the thing that I wanted to be. I have often felt that there is no point regretting it because there is not one thing I could do to change it.
Last weekend, I went with my friend to see her daughter perform in a dance production.
Continue reading “Grieving for the loss of a childhood that I never had”
What a monumental achievement it was; I feel proud of my younger self. I just reread the post from the day. Remembering the fear and uncertainty seems incredible now. I am pretty clear that this was one of the best decisions I ever made.