Today I came out to everyone at work. It was 20 days ahead of the plan & triggered by an accident.
I started the day doing my emails & looking through my calendar. I have my personal calendar shared with my work calendar and vice versa. I saw a double-booked meeting, so I clicked to ask the attendees if we could move it. As soon as I clicked send I reaslied I had done it from my Amy calendar with her email account. Uuugh. I’ve done this three times before but the first time I laughed it off as a shared computer thing. The and third second was to people that knew and this one was to people that didn’t. I thought about spinning some random story or just coming out to them and keeping a lid on it for another few weeks. Then I started to think:
“This is silly. I’m losing control / ownership of the message…How many more times will I out myself in the next 20 days? How many more days before it’s an open secret that’s been talked about?”
Then I thought: “I should do it now. Today. Right now”
I went to visit the HR manager who has become my trusted confidant, ally & friend in all this. She wanted a few more minutes to tweak the message at the top and bottom from the version I shared a few days ago.
The new version is much warmer I think. When she was done, she looked at me and said “You should click send“. I felt a flicker of fear. I was surprised at this, but it was certainly there. Then the email was gone.
I walked to the meeting I was late for and sat down. I was distracted by what was going on around me in the office. Everywhere people were reading my email
When I returned to my desk my inbox had started filling up and I had a pile of instant messages from my colleagues. Each one was a wonderful little message of support, admiration, excitement and happiness for me. Here’s a few snippets
Now I’m left pondering am I really going to wait 3 months for physical changes or shall I bring that forward too? I think I know the answer.